


Redux

by queen_scribbles



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Light Side Sith Warrior, Light-Side Jaesa Willsaam, Nightmares, Post-Star Wars: The Old Republic - Jedi Under Siege
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:40:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22831927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queen_scribbles/pseuds/queen_scribbles
Summary: Jaesa's still adjusting to the fact she has Tragen back, and her dreams keep rehashing old regrets. Nothing some cuddling and a heart to heart can't help.
Relationships: Male Sith Warrior/Jaesa Willsaam
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Redux

**Author's Note:**

> _redux- brought back; revived_
> 
> “In a Dream” kiss prompt from tumblr that ran away with me bc these two are so Soft(TM) with each other I can’t stand it.

The ship was dying.

The evidence was everywhere; alarms screaming, debris, and dead bodies strewn in the corridors, torn metal and falling beams. The ship was dying, and intent on taking crew and passengers with it.

But there was one in particular it _was not allowed_ to have. She _wouldn’t let it._

Jaesa picked her way past corpses and destroyed bulkheads and smoking consoles, following the pull of their Force bond. Tragen would likely give her an earful(or two) for ignoring his orders to leave, but she didn’t care. He could yell at her til the Empire crashed down around their ears, as long as it meant she hadn’t lost him.

But there was so little hope, and it grew increasingly dim the further she crawled into the guts of the dying cruiser. Jaesa coughed and blinked as smoke stung her eyes. She could feel him but it was so _faint_. What if she was too late, arrived just in time to see him die? Would it be better or worse than not knowing; to feel him slip away?

Their bond flared bright as she approached the engine room, and Jaesa latched onto it. _Tragen?!_

_Jaesa...?_ His response was confused, weaker than she’d expected. He must be hurt.

Heart pounding, Jaesa scrabbled and slid down the remainder of the ramp, yelping as she gashed her forearm on part of the twisted metal.

He was barely visible when she reached the bottom, pinned by the frame of a fallen walkway, and something in her broke a little at the sight. “Tragen!!”

“Jaesa?!” He clumsily propped himself up on one elbow, loose bits of hair stuck to his face. “What are you doing here?! I told you to leave!”

He sounded torn between anger and panic and it made her stomach flip flop when she felt his fear.”The rest of them _did_ , but I couldn’t, I had to come back!” _For you_.

“The damn ship is coming apart, Jaesa, _get out of here_!” He tried to sit up further, wave her off, and she was close enough to see him wince in pain before it rippled through their bond. 

“Not without you!” she yelled back, tears pricking her eyes as she half-tripped over a beam while moving closer. She dropped to her knees next to him, raked the sweaty hair back from his face. Brushed away blood from a small cut on his cheek. “Not without you,” she repeated softly, staring into his eyes.

They both flinched as something metal and heavy fell with a tearing screech across the room.

“Jaesa, I can’t get it off,” Tragen ground out, one hand pushing futilely at the walkway frame across his hips that had him pinned. “It’s too heavy.”

“Let me try.” She reached out with the Force, desperation driving her, but immediately slacked off as the barest movement made Tragen cry out in pain. “What-” The question died in her dry throat when she saw the slender railing support driven through his side.

“Just go,” he hissed between clenched teeth. “There’s no way you can get me out in time, just _go_!!”

“I’m not _leaving_ you!” she shot back, voice hoarse and cracking from more than just the smoke in the air. “I _can’t_!” She tried again, this time reaching the Force in two directions--one to siphon some of his pain through their bond, the other to send the twisted walkway flying across the room. 

Despite her efforts, Tragen still curled forward with the spike of pain higher than she could mitigate. Jaesa pressed a hand to his side and used the Force to dull the pain, start healing his injuries.

“I can’t lose you,” she said, other hand cupping his jaw. “You mean too much to me, I just _can’t_..”

“Likewise,” Tragen managed, meeting her gaze, muscle in his jaw twitching as he fought through the remaining pain. “Why do you think I wanted you to leave?” He reached with soot-streaked, bloody fingers to tuck her hair behind her ear.

Jaesa summoned a shaky smile, and leaned in to kiss him. His surprise flashed over their bond, but quickly dissipated, and he returned the kiss with a fervor that made her think they’d be having a _conversation_ once they got out of here.

If they got out of here.

As if to underscore the latter part of that sentiment, the ship lurched under them them, and more metal screeched loose to tumble across the deck.

“We can pick this up later,” Jaesa murmured, breaking the kiss.

“When there’s not the threat of imminent destruction,” Tragen agreed dryly.

Jaesa helped him to his feet, let him lean on her when his knees started to buckle. They looked around for some way of escape, her heart sinking as every direction came up empty. The walkway ramps were all collapsed, doors all blocked by debris they maybe could’ve moved if both of them were in good shape. _No, no, there has to be a way, this can’t be it--_

The ship screeched, something exploded, and the world went white.

\---

Jaesa bolted upright, heart pounding and all but drenched in sweat. The cacophony of Marr’s ship tearing itself apart rang in her ears and it took a minute for her to get a good enough hold on the Force she could begin to calm her breathing and distance herself.

_It was just a dream._ Everything was... fine. She wasn’t dead, hadn’t plunged into that inferno and paid for it.

She rubbed her arm where she’d cut it in the dream and wondered vaguely if there was any meaning to always receiving the same injury. Her heartbeat started climbing again at the memory of too-real pain.

_No._ Jaesa told herself firmly. _It didn’t really happen. That was a **dream** You aren’t--and never were--on Marr’s ship, you’re--_

Where _was_ she? She looked down at the mattress, around at the four bare walls, and tried to fight through the dream-fog. Some planet that started with an O, wasn’t it? Strong ties to the Force?

Ossus? Ossus. That... seemed right. Master Gnost-Dural’s hidden Jedi colony, the first place that had accepted her since... since...

_Tragen._ Her heart squeezed and she hugged her knees into her chest, swallowed around the lump in her throat. They may not have died together aboard Marr’s ship, but he was still--

_Jaesa?_

Her head shot up, eyes darting around the room, even though she knew it was empty save her. But she’d heard him so clearly, which had never happened all the years she’d searched. Maybe she _was_ dead. Or still dreaming. _Tragen...? s_ he tried hesitantly.

She felt his concern for her, so strong it made her chest ache, but rather than attempt to assure him she was fine--she was a terrible liar--she searched back along their bond, trying to figure out where he was

It felt close, too close to match up with what what she remembered. As if she could reach out and touch him...

_On the balcony._

That was when it flooded back, the last of the sleepy disorientation clearing. She wasn’t on Ossus, not anymore, he’d _come back_ and taken her with him to join his Alliance.

_Odessen_. _**That’s**_ where she was now. A shiny new member of Tragen’s Alliance.

Jaesa slipped out of bed and padded barefoot through the darkened halls to Tragen’s room. The door slid open and then closed silently, and, sure enough, she could see him on the balcony, elbows braced against the rail.

He straightened as she approached, but didn’t look away from the sky. “It’s clear tonight; the stars are out.”

She nodded, throat still tight on emotions she couldn’t quite name, as she followed his gaze to the glittering sky. It was a sight to behold, that was true.

Tragen looked over at her, held out one arm in silent invitation. “Jaesa. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she managed as she all but dove into the embrace he offered. She felt his skepticism as his arms wrapped around her and amended, “Just a bad dream.”

He rubbed her back, kissed the top of her head. “Well, I’m here for you if you want to talk about it. Or if you don’t, and just need a hug.”

Jaesa breathed a shaky not-quite-laugh and just relished the solid reality of his presence, his warmth, for a long moment. But she could still smell the smoke, hear the tortured groan of metal. “It was on Darth Marr’s ship,” she said softly, and he pulled in a sharp breath and held her closer as she haltingly told him everything; how she’d gone in, navigated the wreckage to find him, _save_ him. “But I took too long, there was no way out a-and the ship exploded and--”

“Jaesa, _Jaesa,_ it’s alright,” Tragen soothed, tucking her hair behind her ear on the way to cradle her jaw so she’d look at him. “ _ **We’re**_ alright,” he emphasized, his thumb running gently over her chapped lower lip.

“I know,” she said, breath shuddering as she leaned into his touch. _We got another chance._ “Sorry, it takes a while to truly settle myself after these, but I”ll get there.”

“You don’t have to apologize-” he started, then cut himself off, staring at her intently with furrowed brow. “ _These_? Jaesa, do you have dreams like that often?”

She didn’t respond, just covered his hand with hers to hold it against her cheek.

“ _ **Jaesa**_.” He wasn’t bothering to hide his concern, it shone in his eyes and rushed through their bond.

“Not so much anymore,” she finally whispered, hardly able to meet his gaze. “But it used to be... used to be a lot.”

Tragen tugged her toward one of the chairs, wrapped his arms around her again once they’d taken a seat. “How often is a lot?”

The gentle tone of his question made the ache in her chest grow; the blatant concern, the remorse he hadn’t been there to help her or comfort her or _do **something.** _

“Every night, at first,” Jaesa confessed, pressing a hand to his chest when he stiffened. _Let me finish,_ she begged silently. “Usually... usually it _worked_. I’d find you a-and I’d save you and everything would be okay. But some nights were like this, I wasn’t fast enough, the ship was too far gone, and there wasn’t time for us to escape...”

“Jaesa...”

She leaned her forehead against his, ran her fingers through his hair. “They stopped coming so frequently after the first few months. Every night turned into once a week, then into a few sprinkled throughout the month. They never completely stopped, even after I accepted.... accepted I’d missed my chance.”

Tragen cupped her jaw with one hand, the other hugging her close.

“Don’t apologize,” she said hastily when she sensed the intention swelling in him. “It’s not your fault.”

“Still...” he murmured. “That you faced that alone...”

They sat without speaking for a long moment, foreheads pressed together and breath mingling warm between them.

“It all worked out,” Jaesa whispered, stroking the side of his face. “If we hadn’t spent those years apart, would we have realized how we felt?”

“Perhaps not,” Tragen said. He took her hand and kissed the knuckles. “That doesn’t mean I can’t regret what you endured over the course of them. I know your strength, but there are some things no one should have to suffer.”

“Like I said, it all worked out.” She kissed his cheek, bit back a yawn. “And everything’s fine now.”

“Glad to hear it.” He traced his thumb along her jaw, brushed it over her lips. “In that case, we should both get some sleep. I believe my schedule starts quite early tomorrow.”

Jaesa nodded, her fingers curling in his shirt. “Could... Could I...?” _Stay with you_

Tragen chuckled softly, picking up the unspoken request. “Of course.”

They headed inside and settled in together on the bed. Jaesa couldn’t help a small smile as she cuddled close, Tragen’s heartbeat thrumming in her ear and his arm around her back. Whatever her nightmares said, he was alive, he was here, and he was _hers_.

That was better than any dream.


End file.
